Alone again

You told me you loved me
I told you I loved you too
You said together we'd always be
I said I would be true

But, now, your walking away
Saying "let's just be friends"
Now, you made my heart break
That's your way of saying it's the end

Now it's all died away,
Happiness, joy, love; all memories.
You made me walk alone in this dark, dark world,
With no light to guide my way.

My Fighter

When I gave you that last hug
I didn't want to let you go
I wanted to stay there forever
With your arms wrapped so tightly around my body
Standing there in your warm embrace
At times I can still smell the scent of you
Like you are here hugging me again

There are times I feel as though you never went
And I turn around hopping to see you
Sitting on the bed, waiting on me
I'm still not used to sleeping by myself
It's still lonely in bed without you
At night you kept me warm
You cuddled up against me
I felt that you were there beside me
And I knew I would be okay
That nothing could happen to me
You kept me safe
And in the morning I knew I would wake up with you
You always kissed my forehead before doing anything else

I wish I could just have you back for a second
So that I could feel that touch once again
I let you out of my reach, out of my sight
So you could go do your job
I am so proud of you baby
You are the most amazing person I know

When someone asks if I have a knight in shinning armor
I simply reply, No, I have a fire fighter in dark blue
My fighter is much better than any knight can ever be
My fighter is strong, not only physically but emotionally and mentally
He is my world, my soul, my heart, my everything
And here I will stand, right here
In this very spot you left me
With open arms waiting to hold you so close

Waiting until...

He says he loves me, yet he'd rather be apart
He said he trusts me, just not with his heart.
I wonder all the time how could I of let this be
Why did I make the wrong choices
Why I am where I am
A love so many years, so meant to be
Now he'd rather be far away from me
I want to go back, don't know if I will
Is it doomed to fail or prevail?
I want him to know I am so sorry,
I don't want this to be the end of our story
What I was thinking, I do not know
I want my life, I want it all back
I will wait, I will continue to pray
I will hope for the day love will lead him back to me

Broken spirit

She is just a young girl with a broken spirit.
With everything to call her own.
Her beautiful marriage no longer has anything to merit.
Perceptive that she will initiate a broken home.
What will her friends say?
What will her children do?
The life she lives every day,
With false affection, if only they knew.
Her tears are many though she has never let them show.
Her smile is plastered but her eyes can only look to the floor.
She's dying to let go.
She dreads the moment that she walks through their door.
"I love you" he will say.
For her, its the same prison on a different day.
Finally she gave up, she dropped her fake smile,
As a tear fell down her cheek
And whispered to herself..
I can't do this anymore

Whose fault is it?

When a relationship of love is developed, a bond of trust is formed. There is an unspoken agreement that the two of you are committed to each other and that you will not see other people. When one of the members of this sacred bond choose to be intimate with another person, they are not only cheating their lover but they are cheating themselves as well. They are breaking their own bond of trust. In most situations, when a person cheats, it is not because of affection for a new lover. Rather, he may be searching for what is missing in his present relationship or could there be a more valid reason?

Letting go...

It's very difficult to tell someone else how to cope with this and move on.
If you can't forgive them can you at least try to put them away so to speak because the more you think about them the less you'll be able to move forward.
None of us can go back and change the past but we do have the power to control the present and the future.
I know a few who have reconciled themselves to what happened and refuse to allow themselves to be victims of their past.
One said that she has put her unhappy memories in a mental' attic' so the unhappy memories are stored away and are rarely brought out now as life has got better. She is doing well at studies and is very happy due to her strong will and positive attitude.
The other person has worked hard to get a good job and happy family life of her own and says she can only be hurt by the past if she lets it intrude on the present and she refuses to do this.
These methods have worked for them.
It is VERY difficult to forgive people who have caused us irreparable loss in the past.It would definitely hurt us every time we remember the incident on our own, or when something related is done or said.

But, we have to think ahead of this statement, and much ahead of these hurting thoughts. Even though in our mind,the question is-HOW should we forgive, actually MORE important questions are- Whether & WHY should we forgive?
The person did or said something in past, and we got hurt. Now, that person is no longer in front of us. But, we have nurtured the hurt so much that just by recalling that incident we feel miserable. Nurturing hurt can give us nothing but only unpleasantness.
The question now is, we can not change anything that has happened in the past.But, thinking about that in our present, we are neither able to enjoy our present happy moments, nor we can work efficiently.This may ruin our future!
So, the best thing for us;to live our remaining life peacefully and happily, is TO FORGIVE. This reason is LOGICAL and self explanatory.

Yes. I guarantee YOU its going to BE VERY DIFFICULT.
But, BEST solutions in life are NOT always so EASY!
We have to learn to FORGIVE, for only then would we feel much lighter at heart.

Tools of a Healthy Relationship

The Healthy Relationship are based on the belief that both partners are equal. It means that when you are with your partner

• you have fun
• you feel like you can be yourself
• you can have your own opinions and interests even if they differ from your partners

As a couple. You should,

1. Always tell the truth. You shouldn't have to lie to protect your partner. Lies only create disconnect and distance.
2. Follow through with commitments. If you say that you are going to do something, do it. If for some reason you can't, let your partner know why you can't ahead of time. Not only does this show that you respect your partner, but it also creates trust.
3. Own your emotions. If you are having a bad day, let your partner know. If you snap at your partner, apologize for it.
4. Learn from each other.
5. Appreciate yourself and your partner.
6. Make major decisions together. It is a partnership.
7. Be willing to compromise. Know how to accept change.
8. Share daily repsonsibilitie. Work as a team.
9. Support each other's goals. Believe in each other.
10. Communicate openly.

It all comes down to respect. You need to respect yourself as an individual and you need to respect your partner as an individual. You also need to respect who you both are as a couple.

Memories

I close my eyes to hide the tears
but it keeps leaking through ma eyes
i don't want you to know
that it still hurts bad..

I always heard that
memories of yesterday
might haunt you forever
But i never thought
it would be this bad..

Yesterday is past
but why cant i let go of it
why i am suffering of this pain
with the love ive lost forever
why i hurt so badly..

my life is like an open book
the pages are read day by day
knowing that an end will come
some day soon...

Better do it now while you still have the chance!

When a parent passes away, we take on a new kind of work. I am not referring to the necessary “bank balances” of filing papers or clearing out the house. I am referring to the psychological process of sorting out the seemingly impalpable experience of the death of a parent.

Initially, the process is emotionally draining as we are tossed back and forth in time reliving the good, the bad, and the confusing. At some point we begin to settle down, organize “what just happened” last month or over the last fifty-five years, and begin to extract new meaning from the experience. It is a cryptic process that only reveals itself in layers, flashes of information or forgotten data, like pieces of puzzle, we are asked to ponder and ultimately rearrange. Here are some of the pieces:

1. Loss. No matter what we thought, we were wrong. Losing a parent hurts more than we planned. We are humbled at the power of biology even in the face of distant and dysfunctional parent-child relationships.

2. Regrets. As we ruminate over our loss, we find ourselves with a laundry list of regrets, a thousand things we might have done different, better, sooner, and always with more compassion. We find ourselves longing for a “do over” and, like Lear, the chance to “get it right.”

3. Insights. Despite loss and regrets, our heats understand that the mind’s dream of perfection is fools gold. This is earth and we know that all of us suffer human endings filled with ambiguity, regrettable choices, and good intentions.

4. Stories. We are surprised to find that our lives can only be understood and explained through our stories, including the one about the loss of a parent. We are equally surprised by how important for us to tell our story even though its emphasis and meaning keep changing over time.

5. Lessons. We rediscover the real meaning of life-long learning as we come face to face with what matters the most. We know that these insights may not change our lifestyle, goals, or priorities; but they give spiritual substance and renewed meaning to our journey. It helps us feel real in a world filled of rapid and never ending transactions.

The wait

Still remember the day i had same tear in my eye ..

how much i yearned for today ..
as the calendar flipped the nights n day ..
together we made it through ..
finally i got to hold you ..
as i held u to me, i cud feel a tear rolling down my face ..
made me glow, for how proud i was ..
i had felt your presence all along ..
n now i get to feel your warm lil body on me ..
as i looked into your lil face ..
rosy pink cheeks n closed lil eyes ..
all i cud say was I LOVE YOU, welcoming u to this world ..

Dedicated to my lil angel Esh

Will you marry me?

That is probably the best question that every women want to hear. Yes, at some point, we women want to settle down, have children and live happily ever after with the man we love or I would call the love of my life :)

But we also made some mistake by marrying someone just because we got pressure from family, friends and society, and also we think that in certain age we are old enough to get marry no matter if we are not ready mentally.

For me, marriage is a big thing, and also a gambling thing. You never know what would happen along the way during the marriage itself. Some people who got married in the name of love can not survive their marriage and divorced.

So, is there an exact and strong reason to begin a marriage? So that we can survive our marriage, till death do us part.

A new trend

Older Women For Younger Men?

I have seen many relationships succeed with this kind of older woman/younger man scenario. The media focuses on the age difference, but what really makes or breaks the relationship is how well the couple can form a partnership that works.

Age difference is an adolescent worry: When you're a teenager, an age difference of even two or three years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life. Such a difference can interfere with communication, life goals, outlook, and relationship experience. In addition, for the young, the social reaction to such a relationship is often negative. If one partner is underage, a sexual relationship is even against the law.

But, as you get older, life experience and emotional growth help to equalize your relationship skills and resources. A 10-year or more difference in your ages makes little difference in how well you can conduct your relationship.

"With life experience comes education"

Don't focus on an arbitrary numbers difference in your ages. If you are getting along, you have good communication and problem solving, and you love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be. If other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem.

Whether or not a relationship is healthy is not determined by age differences, but by the interaction between the partners. A 10-year difference is not too difficult to bridge, but a 20-year differences or more in age can lead to some difficulties as the partners get older. For example, the younger partner may mature and reconsider his or her choices, or an older partner may confront aging problems much sooner. But, as long as both parties are adult, and the couple has talked about their age difference and the future possibilities, I don't make judgments about their respective ages.


Dealing with the generation gap

There are healthy and unhealthy reasons to date someone of a different generation.
One inappropriate motivation for dating a younger person is fear of aging on the older person's part. A younger partner isn't going to reverse the aging process or protect you from old age. Obviously, a man or woman who dates someone as young as his or her children is going to run into some social opposition, but the differences that can cause the biggest problems within the couple's relationship are differing maturity levels.

As more and more women choose younger partners for relationships, the question arises: Are women in their late 30s and early 40s likely to be successful with partners who are 10 to 15 years younger than themselves?

Success in these relationships depends on what the motivations of both people are. Some older people feel younger at heart than their contemporaries and like to date people who are as active as they are. Chronological age doesn't always reflect either physical capability or emotional maturity. Sometimes an age difference creates a mentoring relationship the older person advises the younger one on life or career. This can backfire if and when the younger person decides he or she has learned enough, and wants to move on.

If you're asking: "Is it OK for me to have a partner who is much older or younger than I am?" You'll do better off if you forget about your ages and concentrate on whether the relationship works for both of you, or not. What really makes a romantic relationship succeed is the emotional connection. It takes compromise and understanding to work out all relationship issues whether it's age gap relationships or any other male female relationship.

Keep on reading...

Sealed Pages

Like a book I wait to be opened, to be read,

To be liked for who I am, not what I look like
or what people have said
Will I be kept and loved or tossed back on the shelf?
No worry, because I know now you will always love me yourself
As sure as seasons were made for change,
Our lifetimes were made for years
I'm always here in any way you need,
When you need to talk, cry or just
open me up to read

What to expect during parenthood

While raising kids is the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life, and the love you feel for them is unlike anything else you'll ever know, there are a few pitfalls nobody ever tells you about.

Read on the 10 things no one will tell you about parenthood, if you dare.

1) The Way You View the World Changes
When you bring someone into this world, you start actually looking at the impact these things have, and what the world will become after you're dead and gone. Leaving a better place for your kids and grandkids becomes more than just talk.

2) You'll Feel like a Failure
There will be times when no matter how hard you try, your kids are never happy. You feel you're telling them "no" too much, constantly harping on them to clean their room, or dashing their dreams of lowering their brother down the staircase on a rope.

3) You Have no Time
This seems obvious, but you can't believe just how little time you have. You start to measure things out in minutes and seconds. "If he watches Curious George for 20 more seconds, I can go to the bathroom," or "If his nap lasts another 10 minutes, maybe I can get in a shower today."

4) Not Going to the Bathroom by Yourself
When your kids are babies, the bathroom is the only place you can get your head together. It's also one of the only places you can actually read. And once he turned two, he's banging on the door screaming "lemme in!". There is no peace with toddlers.

5) Parenthood will turn You Soft
You'll find yourself tearing up at any dumb movie that has anything to do with parenthood, and if you have a daughter, don't be surprised to find yourself playing "My Little Pony" before heading off to work.

6) They will Embarrass You
Unfortunately, they say what they want—when they want. It can be something that's funny like announcing to their pre-school class that Daddy farts all the time, or it can be humiliating like a temper tantrum in a grocery store or having them tell your parents to "get me a toy next time" after opening a gift containing pajamas.

7) Worrying
This is the one that stings from the day your child is born until the day you die. From the start you worry that they'll stop breathing in their crib, then you obsess about getting the damn car seat in correctly. They get a little older and you worry about them falling down the stairs or choking on a Polly Pocket. As the years go on you lose sleep about dating, not fitting in, or getting into a situation that they can't handle. Then there are the worries that never go away: providing enough, paying for college or not teaching them the right things. The list goes on and on and on, and it takes a major toll on you. But you worry because you love.

8) You won't be the Parent you Think
You have this great picture of the kind of parent you want to be, and how picturesque your family will become. You try to live up to that vision, but you also have to survive. So, snickering at a prospective parent spouting off advice is not only allowed, but encouraged.

9) Sickness
It's also not something I had any idea about before having kids. Sick kids take a toll on the entire house. Even the typical cold has taken on a whole new meaning, especially with toddlers. It can require being up in the middle of the night for days in a row, missing work and acting as one giant Kleenex.

10) The feeling of Unconditional Love
You assume that you're going to love your kids, but what you end up feeling for them is unlike anything else you'll ever know. Just a simple smile from your offspring can erase a really crappy day at the office. This is the reason why people rave about having kids while they look exhausted and have a fresh batch of spit-up running down their back.

Silent tear

Here i am so far away
Like you wanted me to be
But its not the same
As you may never know

I lay in bed, counting my tears,
Each representing what I'd hoped would be years.
Years of happiness, for us to be together,
A long-lived life, forever and ever

But in my heart, I know this will never be,
For in yours, no longer is there a place for me
I gave you my all; I gave you my heart,
Little did I know that you'd tear it apart

But starting from today
I will cry no more
Your love slowly leaving into a silent death
Gradually learning to live in my own pair of shoes

Will you??

They say everything grows with time

but with time we parted

Will it hurt you to think
Of all the times we've shared
Or will they just slip your mind
Like they were never there

Will you remember all the laughs
Or will you forget those
And put them in your past

Will you pretend like we never happened
And let us go along the years

Will you try to hold on to everything we've got
Or say goodbye to old times
And go on with everything your not

Uncertainty

She remembers it all,
All the people who had said
They cared, but did they really?

She remembers it all,
The sound of laughter and
How happy she'd been, but was she really?

She remembers it all,
The feeling of being so alone,
The feeling no one cared, but did they really?

But now they'll remember her,
Staring at the rope in front of her
How easy to slide down on it, but will she really?

Lost

I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside

They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried
When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well
In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell
The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say
They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again
But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been?
I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back..

S3lf!sh G!rl

I don't love you

I don't care for you
All I care for is myself
My very own Self…
That is why I can't live without you
'Cause you are a part of my Self

You always thought you were You
No Sweetheart…you are NOT
'Cause I see nothing of You inside you
I only see myself
My very own Self in You…

The day I leave this world...
You would die too..
'Cause you are a part of my Self
Not You…