Letting go...

It's very difficult to tell someone else how to cope with this and move on.
If you can't forgive them can you at least try to put them away so to speak because the more you think about them the less you'll be able to move forward.
None of us can go back and change the past but we do have the power to control the present and the future.
I know a few who have reconciled themselves to what happened and refuse to allow themselves to be victims of their past.
One said that she has put her unhappy memories in a mental' attic' so the unhappy memories are stored away and are rarely brought out now as life has got better. She is doing well at studies and is very happy due to her strong will and positive attitude.
The other person has worked hard to get a good job and happy family life of her own and says she can only be hurt by the past if she lets it intrude on the present and she refuses to do this.
These methods have worked for them.
It is VERY difficult to forgive people who have caused us irreparable loss in the past.It would definitely hurt us every time we remember the incident on our own, or when something related is done or said.

But, we have to think ahead of this statement, and much ahead of these hurting thoughts. Even though in our mind,the question is-HOW should we forgive, actually MORE important questions are- Whether & WHY should we forgive?
The person did or said something in past, and we got hurt. Now, that person is no longer in front of us. But, we have nurtured the hurt so much that just by recalling that incident we feel miserable. Nurturing hurt can give us nothing but only unpleasantness.
The question now is, we can not change anything that has happened in the past.But, thinking about that in our present, we are neither able to enjoy our present happy moments, nor we can work efficiently.This may ruin our future!
So, the best thing for us;to live our remaining life peacefully and happily, is TO FORGIVE. This reason is LOGICAL and self explanatory.

Yes. I guarantee YOU its going to BE VERY DIFFICULT.
But, BEST solutions in life are NOT always so EASY!
We have to learn to FORGIVE, for only then would we feel much lighter at heart.

Tools of a Healthy Relationship

The Healthy Relationship are based on the belief that both partners are equal. It means that when you are with your partner

• you have fun
• you feel like you can be yourself
• you can have your own opinions and interests even if they differ from your partners

As a couple. You should,

1. Always tell the truth. You shouldn't have to lie to protect your partner. Lies only create disconnect and distance.
2. Follow through with commitments. If you say that you are going to do something, do it. If for some reason you can't, let your partner know why you can't ahead of time. Not only does this show that you respect your partner, but it also creates trust.
3. Own your emotions. If you are having a bad day, let your partner know. If you snap at your partner, apologize for it.
4. Learn from each other.
5. Appreciate yourself and your partner.
6. Make major decisions together. It is a partnership.
7. Be willing to compromise. Know how to accept change.
8. Share daily repsonsibilitie. Work as a team.
9. Support each other's goals. Believe in each other.
10. Communicate openly.

It all comes down to respect. You need to respect yourself as an individual and you need to respect your partner as an individual. You also need to respect who you both are as a couple.