A new trend

Older Women For Younger Men?

I have seen many relationships succeed with this kind of older woman/younger man scenario. The media focuses on the age difference, but what really makes or breaks the relationship is how well the couple can form a partnership that works.

Age difference is an adolescent worry: When you're a teenager, an age difference of even two or three years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life. Such a difference can interfere with communication, life goals, outlook, and relationship experience. In addition, for the young, the social reaction to such a relationship is often negative. If one partner is underage, a sexual relationship is even against the law.

But, as you get older, life experience and emotional growth help to equalize your relationship skills and resources. A 10-year or more difference in your ages makes little difference in how well you can conduct your relationship.

"With life experience comes education"

Don't focus on an arbitrary numbers difference in your ages. If you are getting along, you have good communication and problem solving, and you love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be. If other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem.

Whether or not a relationship is healthy is not determined by age differences, but by the interaction between the partners. A 10-year difference is not too difficult to bridge, but a 20-year differences or more in age can lead to some difficulties as the partners get older. For example, the younger partner may mature and reconsider his or her choices, or an older partner may confront aging problems much sooner. But, as long as both parties are adult, and the couple has talked about their age difference and the future possibilities, I don't make judgments about their respective ages.


Dealing with the generation gap

There are healthy and unhealthy reasons to date someone of a different generation.
One inappropriate motivation for dating a younger person is fear of aging on the older person's part. A younger partner isn't going to reverse the aging process or protect you from old age. Obviously, a man or woman who dates someone as young as his or her children is going to run into some social opposition, but the differences that can cause the biggest problems within the couple's relationship are differing maturity levels.

As more and more women choose younger partners for relationships, the question arises: Are women in their late 30s and early 40s likely to be successful with partners who are 10 to 15 years younger than themselves?

Success in these relationships depends on what the motivations of both people are. Some older people feel younger at heart than their contemporaries and like to date people who are as active as they are. Chronological age doesn't always reflect either physical capability or emotional maturity. Sometimes an age difference creates a mentoring relationship the older person advises the younger one on life or career. This can backfire if and when the younger person decides he or she has learned enough, and wants to move on.

If you're asking: "Is it OK for me to have a partner who is much older or younger than I am?" You'll do better off if you forget about your ages and concentrate on whether the relationship works for both of you, or not. What really makes a romantic relationship succeed is the emotional connection. It takes compromise and understanding to work out all relationship issues whether it's age gap relationships or any other male female relationship.

Keep on reading...

Sealed Pages

Like a book I wait to be opened, to be read,

To be liked for who I am, not what I look like
or what people have said
Will I be kept and loved or tossed back on the shelf?
No worry, because I know now you will always love me yourself
As sure as seasons were made for change,
Our lifetimes were made for years
I'm always here in any way you need,
When you need to talk, cry or just
open me up to read

What to expect during parenthood

While raising kids is the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life, and the love you feel for them is unlike anything else you'll ever know, there are a few pitfalls nobody ever tells you about.

Read on the 10 things no one will tell you about parenthood, if you dare.

1) The Way You View the World Changes
When you bring someone into this world, you start actually looking at the impact these things have, and what the world will become after you're dead and gone. Leaving a better place for your kids and grandkids becomes more than just talk.

2) You'll Feel like a Failure
There will be times when no matter how hard you try, your kids are never happy. You feel you're telling them "no" too much, constantly harping on them to clean their room, or dashing their dreams of lowering their brother down the staircase on a rope.

3) You Have no Time
This seems obvious, but you can't believe just how little time you have. You start to measure things out in minutes and seconds. "If he watches Curious George for 20 more seconds, I can go to the bathroom," or "If his nap lasts another 10 minutes, maybe I can get in a shower today."

4) Not Going to the Bathroom by Yourself
When your kids are babies, the bathroom is the only place you can get your head together. It's also one of the only places you can actually read. And once he turned two, he's banging on the door screaming "lemme in!". There is no peace with toddlers.

5) Parenthood will turn You Soft
You'll find yourself tearing up at any dumb movie that has anything to do with parenthood, and if you have a daughter, don't be surprised to find yourself playing "My Little Pony" before heading off to work.

6) They will Embarrass You
Unfortunately, they say what they want—when they want. It can be something that's funny like announcing to their pre-school class that Daddy farts all the time, or it can be humiliating like a temper tantrum in a grocery store or having them tell your parents to "get me a toy next time" after opening a gift containing pajamas.

7) Worrying
This is the one that stings from the day your child is born until the day you die. From the start you worry that they'll stop breathing in their crib, then you obsess about getting the damn car seat in correctly. They get a little older and you worry about them falling down the stairs or choking on a Polly Pocket. As the years go on you lose sleep about dating, not fitting in, or getting into a situation that they can't handle. Then there are the worries that never go away: providing enough, paying for college or not teaching them the right things. The list goes on and on and on, and it takes a major toll on you. But you worry because you love.

8) You won't be the Parent you Think
You have this great picture of the kind of parent you want to be, and how picturesque your family will become. You try to live up to that vision, but you also have to survive. So, snickering at a prospective parent spouting off advice is not only allowed, but encouraged.

9) Sickness
It's also not something I had any idea about before having kids. Sick kids take a toll on the entire house. Even the typical cold has taken on a whole new meaning, especially with toddlers. It can require being up in the middle of the night for days in a row, missing work and acting as one giant Kleenex.

10) The feeling of Unconditional Love
You assume that you're going to love your kids, but what you end up feeling for them is unlike anything else you'll ever know. Just a simple smile from your offspring can erase a really crappy day at the office. This is the reason why people rave about having kids while they look exhausted and have a fresh batch of spit-up running down their back.