It's very difficult to tell someone else how to cope with this and move on.
If you can't forgive them can you at least try to put them away so to speak because the more you think about them the less you'll be able to move forward.
None of us can go back and change the past but we do have the power to control the present and the future.
I know a few who have reconciled themselves to what happened and refuse to allow themselves to be victims of their past.
One said that she has put her unhappy memories in a mental' attic' so the unhappy memories are stored away and are rarely brought out now as life has got better. She is doing well at studies and is very happy due to her strong will and positive attitude.
The other person has worked hard to get a good job and happy family life of her own and says she can only be hurt by the past if she lets it intrude on the present and she refuses to do this.
These methods have worked for them.
It is VERY difficult to forgive people who have caused us irreparable loss in the past.It would definitely hurt us every time we remember the incident on our own, or when something related is done or said.
But, we have to think ahead of this statement, and much ahead of these hurting thoughts. Even though in our mind,the question is-HOW should we forgive, actually MORE important questions are- Whether & WHY should we forgive?
The person did or said something in past, and we got hurt. Now, that person is no longer in front of us. But, we have nurtured the hurt so much that just by recalling that incident we feel miserable. Nurturing hurt can give us nothing but only unpleasantness.
The question now is, we can not change anything that has happened in the past.But, thinking about that in our present, we are neither able to enjoy our present happy moments, nor we can work efficiently.This may ruin our future!
So, the best thing for us;to live our remaining life peacefully and happily, is TO FORGIVE. This reason is LOGICAL and self explanatory.
Yes. I guarantee YOU its going to BE VERY DIFFICULT.
But, BEST solutions in life are NOT always so EASY!
We have to learn to FORGIVE, for only then would we feel much lighter at heart.
8 comments:
yep its true it rlly hardx to forigive others after wat they have done but forgiving is the best way
its ver very true ... and i guess the post has helped me a bit to think about somethings i should let go and forgive .. =D
woah.. that is so kewl!! exactly!!! your damn right! i've got all the answers to my questions which are lingering in me.. thanks..
" Nurturing hurt can give us nothing but only unpleasantness " very true..
but..the question of forgiving confusing:S hehehe...*pondering*
Great points here:)
loved it
i gues it comes down to whether the person who had hurt you is now truly sorry abt what happened or asked for forgiveness. and also if ur ready to forgive that person. it also depends on how u were hurt and the extent of it which changes everything. i believe u have a right to not forgive as well. but i do agree with what uve written in ur post. especially how it comes down to a strong will of that person to move past it and live life free from that hurt.
hmmm.. from these posts you are anything but selfish.. ironic to call yourself 'selfish girl' hehe. good post.
Wel, it is never easy to forgive somone who has hurt you, thatts y ppl opt to forget
Yes indeed, in some moments I can say that I jibe consent to with you, but you may be making allowance for other options.
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